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How to Survive an Italian Thanksgiving

Step 1: 
DO NOT go in the kitchen when your parents are preparing the food because you don’t want to hear “esci dalla cucina adesso” (which means “Get out of the kitchen now!”). It’s very important that they cook good food for the family, for we only see them on the  holidays. One mess up, and it’s all over. My Nonna goes on and on about this wedding 14 years ago that had horrible food and how McDonalds had better food. It’s also very important that the people seated around your dinner table, talk about the food for the rest of their lives. Usually ,they say something along the lines of “ricorda il cibo che abbia ringraziamento”. (Which means “Remember the food that we ate at the Sesto’s for Thanksgiving?”)
Step 2: 
there is never enough food). Usually the Anti- pasta is way bigger than the dinner itself. I mean it’s not a party until there is 10 pounds of mozzarella and 15 pounds of soppressata. Also, you can’t be full. Even if you are, your family will find a way to shove food down your throat and if you don’t eat what they made, they will get really mad and then they’ll make you feel bad. They will say “perché non mangi?”(Why don’t you eat?) or the will say “Perché non mangi quello che ho fatto, pensavo ti piacesse il mio cibo.” ( “Why don’t you eat what I made? I thought you liked my food.”) If you don’t like something they made, keep it to yourself or your family will get very offended.
 Step 3: 
Don’t get involved in family drama. What I do is listen to all of the gossip and let it soak in. You know how much I know about my crazy family? A LOT. To the point where I can write a whole T.V show. Keeping up with the Sesto’s. While they are gossiping, you don’t want to say anything. If you do, you’re going to get told to go to the other room, so I pretend to play on my phone. Every Holiday there is always that one Zia that’s crying over something so dumb. Like one year my Zia was crying over what my other Zia said to her.
Step 4: 
Don’t be mean to anyone. As soon as the family walks in you have smother them with hugs and kisses and if you don’t they are going to be so mad at you. They will say “Perché non mi hai salutato? mi ami?”(“Why didn’t you say hello to me.Do you love me?”) My family can be a little dramatic, oh who am I kidding, they are extremely dramatic. If I show my family this,  they will be very defensive and say “non lo faccio. è qualcosa che tuo padre non farebbe a me.”( “I do not do this. That is something your father would do not me.”)
Lastly, Even though my family is crazy, loud, dramatic, I mean the list goes on and on. I love them so much. I would never change anything about them. I just want all of them to know that I love you guys and you mean the world to me and I cannot wait to see everyone for the Holidays. Arrivederci!