Sometimes, parents get mad or frustrated because of a long day at work. Maybe the kids are running around and yelling when all they wanted was a few minutes of quiet, they tend to raise their voice to make their homes quieter. Other times, they yell because their child won’t clean up their toys or eat their food, or maybe their teenager is giving them an attitude. The only way they feel they can assert their dominance is by raising their voice. This may seem like the most effective way, thinking it causes no harm since it isn’t physical discipline. Though it definitely is a “better” thing to do than physically hurting your child, this isn’t exactly the best idea either. If this sounds like something you may commonly do, read about the effects this may have on your children and maybe reconsider your way of catching your child’s attention, or getting them to listen.

Now again, yelling may seem harmless since you aren’t physically harming your child right? Well actually no, studies have shown that children who grew up in homes being yelled at a lot are more likely to develop things like anxiety, depression, stress, or emotional distress. These things can all be long term, and affect them for the rest of their life. This happens mainly because yelling triggers a flight or fight response leading to stress which builds up into something larger. Another thing that may happen is your child will pick up on your behaviors. Yes, you yelled to get a point across, but your child could have interpreted it as you being mad, and they will think it’s okay to yell at people when they get mad. Most importantly, it can ruin a relationship between you and your child! While yelling once in a while can be okay, you shouldn’t do it all the time. The more things you yell about, your child will remember. If you yell at them for not cleaning their toys after you played with them, they may not want to play with you anymore since you yelled at them last time. 

Let’s talk about when yelling is okay. If a child is putting themselves in danger, you definitely should raise your voice to get their attention. Whether they are about to harm themselves by putting their hand on or near the hot stove, you should yell so they stop in their tracks. But even then, you should talk to them in a normal, or firm tone and explain why they can’t do whatever it is that they were doing so they understand what was done wrong. If you only yell in situations like this, it is a more efficient way to keep your child safe. Why? Because the more often you yell about things you don’t necessarily need to yell about, the less effective it will be when it is needed. Think about “The Boy Who Cried Wolf”. Eventually they will start to tune out the sound of you raising your voice. Lastly, if you do yell and realize it was an inappropriate time, wait for things to settle down then sit down and talk with your child. Apologize and talk about the situation and explain how you felt in the moment to ensure they don’t hold it against you.